December 21st: Soft Rock-in' Around or Near the Christmas Tree
Yup, it's adult-oriented rock day, Advent fans. You could spend every day between now and Baby J-Chro's Birthday Morn paxotastically stuffing your ears with agèd Stilton and still not out-cheese these aural doozies. Also, be warned, tests have consistently shown that these songs can penetrate up to three feet of blue cheese, so don't think cramming your lug'oles with Blacksticks Blue is going to insulate you from their awesomely untorrid effects.
Actually, I may as well pre-emptively cry Uncle! as nothing I can possibly say about any of these songs will make the slightest dent in them, nor make them funnier than they already are. I suppose one might ask whether there's ever been a less rock'n'roll version of "Jingle Bell Rock" than Messrs Hall and Oates turn in -- and I'm including in that not only fully-fledged pop acts but also novelty musical tea-towels and chickens with whooping cough.
Ha ha ha, funny man. And then of course, after two glasses of cooking sherry and a quick, possibly even accidental, fumble under the mistletoe, I will obviously break down and confess that I think Jon "Yes" ("Really?" "Yes!") Anderson's recording of "O Holy Night" is the most beautiful thing ever. Ever. See. Hmmm. That's how they get ya. That's how, in the end, REO Speedwagon's temerity in covering "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" goes unpunished. All because of cooking sherry. Curse you, cooking sherry!
See you tomorrow for some rather more incontrovertibly classic cuts as we enter the home straight -- and not a moment too soon. Love you bye.
1 Chicago: The Christmas Song
2 Hall & Oates: Jingle Bell Rock
3 Jon Anderson: O Holy Night
4 REO Speedwagon: Happy Xmas (War is Over)